Now, to put it bluntly, Mrs Ayre is my most hated PDHPE teacher. In fact, she is probably my most hated teacher of all, for reasons I can not unmask in case a teacher sees this and can identify me. Mrs Ayre is so cunning and sly. She is sneaky and devious. She extracts joy in going behinds people's backs and chasing up trivial excuses to trivial points. She herself always has an excuse for everything, if it means her getting out of any work or effort. Like Mr Jones, Mrs Ayre is heartless, unless it has to do with one of her star dancers, of who she treats above everyone else.

You see, Mrs Ayre thinks that she is a main player in YOUR education. No. She isn't. You see, I don't care if I don't know the difference between a chest pass and a bounce pass in netball. No. I really dont care. I don't give a rats arse that I was holding the fucking hockey stick the wrong way round, or that I did two kicks and a slide, rather than two kicks and a fucking jump in the shitty dance she made us do. No, Mrs Ayre, I don't really give a flying fuck about organizing a hockey knockout team. I don't give a shit. I have more important things to learn, like how to pluck my nose hairs more efficiently. (Thankyou science faculty)

I doubt the government or the Department of Education would let Mrs Ayre continue to teach, if they knew just how how insidious she is, and just what her delicate web of deceit involves.

So, next time you are questioned for being out of uniform, or a couple of minutes late, let the double-crossing one known as Mrs Ayre know that you know what she is up to. Tell her you have been informed of her insidious plan for world domination. Inform her that the Department of Education is just a phone call away, the police 2 blocks away, and a large metal pole just several metres away. Watch her perky little put-on devilish evil smile turn into a frown of horror as she is loaded into the back of a van, strapped into a straight jacket, and sent to the Department of Education rehabilitation, where she will most likely get a job as a kindergarten teacher.